Wow, I just read the first chapter and I am sobbing. I can't wait for the book to come out so I can finish reading it. I grew up in Gila Bend but did not know the author. I wish I would have. I could have been there to help her.
I LOVED the book.
It was very insightful into a family that had some very hard times. Suicide is never the answer but I understand. I had a little brother that took his own life when he was 44 years old. Did not see it coming but after it happened I could see some of the signs.
I'm glad that the author is doing OK now.
I was immediately physically feeling the pain of a young girl wanting so much to be loved and to have her family back. I was imagining what it would feel like to have everything taken away because of someone's selfishness. I was taken to Arizona, in my mind imagining Shelly driving, searching, and wishing that someone would just comfort her, help her pick up the pieces that were just shattered. I want to know more... where are they, what have they done, how does a family heal or do they heal? What an eloquent writing ability Shelly has to immediately arouse my senses and leave me wanting to read more with a mere 22 pages. YOU, my friend, AMAZE me with your courage, love, generous heart, and giver to your family. I'm in AWE of your survival and desire not to be a victim but to be a teacher of unconditional love. I WANT TO READ MORE.... please!!!
I knew the author when she was going through this ordeal when it happened, but my God I did not know the details. I only wish her a remarkable life for what she had to endure.
One of the MANY disturbing details of this story was how the mother and her lover conjured up fictitious stories about the death being a mafia hit due to the father using his place of business to sell drugs. My stomach turned as I personally recalled this detail. It is the behavior of a true sociopath. The sociopath NEVER acknowledges how their behavior hurts & affects those around them. They NEVER accept accountability for their bad choices. Instead, they deflect, then glorify in the drama. The abandonment of the hurting & devastated children who were all under age is also classic sociopath behavior. Unlike popular belief, sociopaths are very likable, charismatic and fun to be around. They are not usually serial killers. They are your teachers, preachers, neighbors, business associates, coaches and friends. Sociopath is an inherited & genetic disorder...In the same way depression can be inherited. The only way to spot a sociopath is the moment you realize and acknowledge that they have NO CONSCIOUS. They simply do not care about other's sufferings. However, they can feign these emotions very well when they need to. A dead giveaway is that their words and their actions never match because they lack sincerity of feelings and conscious. They are societies "shape shifters"....And they can put on a great show. Many unaware will stand back and applause how wonderful they are...While the many victims lie hurting and injured behind the curtain of the sociopath's grand stage of life. People are the ultimate pawns in their game of life. They are not capable of real love and heart felt empathy or compassion for others. People are more like possessions to be kept and utilized. Sociopaths often become "partners in crime". They will bear each other up in their many sins, to the end....No Amen.
I know that kind of person. That was my grandpa from my mother. My mother's life was so miserable, her childhood was so unhappy that made her experience mental illness. And now i experience several mental illness and some of them are in severe condition.
My grandpa was so smart but empty heart, never love his family,abandoned his family, gambler, and lack of wise. That made their life in extreme poverty.
And i don't know how i can survive this. Oh help me Mercy God.I fear madness and now i am just an inch from it.
I'm the only birth-child to Carson. I was very little when all this came about, and wasn't even aware at the time he was my biological father.
Having only met the author a handfull of times through-out my adult life, Its amazing to me she's as well composed, and seemingly "normal". Had I been in the mix with the other children, I wouldn't be able to say the same for myself.
I was, at one time before her passing, rather close to my (step) mom (who was the authors mother) and had been told stories from the siblings about her and Carsons love affair before settling into a life together. I was never really one to hold back my curiosity.. When I had a question, or didn't really understand something I asked. Having never really got a consistent answer, I remember sitting with mom at the kitchen table (drinking coffee& smoking cigarettes at the table was always her favorite way to visit) one night, many years ago when the subject of her first marriage came up. I felt at the time my questions werent welcomed so, I quickly turned the conversation around.
Later after her passing, I sat at that same table with Carson flipping thru the momentos she somehow mustered up energy to organize before that fateful day. The subject of moms life before he came along was brought up once more (by me). I always suspected my father a liar. I walked away that day, tokens and momentos in tow, feeling as if the woman I had grown to love as my mother and cherish as a friend was not the woman we had buried earlier that week.
I never really understood the feeling of discontentment and dislike of Carson by the other siblings. The author especially. Although she has never expressed this to me personaly, and is empathetic enough she probably never will, I can see it in her eyes, and hear it in her voice.
Shelly, I know I'm not responsible for what has happened, nor can I ever fully understand what Jerry, Scott, Kris, Terry, and yourself have all gone thru in the years before I came into the picture. I'm so sorry... My heart aches in the fact, I am from this man. I was never truly proud of him, and hated the way he treated our family and mom when his very own guilty pleasures came calling. At the end of the day, mom would never leave. No matter how bad things got. I used to admire her strenghth for keeping the marriage together. Now? After finally getting the answers I had looked for for so long..
Its you. You are the one whos strength I truly admire. Not just you but also Jerry. Despite everything, you are loving.
I also understand now the heavy hearted tone when my step sibs call on me as simply "Carsons daughter".
I have cut my ties with him, as he has quickly moved onto another chapter I can only describe as " big dysfunction, more lies".
I'm so saddened for your loss. And mine.
The author of this book is a dear friend of mine who wrote about her life of Adversity and how she overcomes it. Everyone should read this book! It will shock, inspire and uplift and will not disappoint. You learn the healing power of forgiveness that can change lives.
This tale of woe is too much for any one person to bear but sadly many our forced to. I have had tragedies in my life but never on such a scale as this. I know the author as my Aunt and never knew that she'd experienced so much so early in life. She has always been good to me and I never would have guessed she had such scars. I suppose knowing her made reading the first chapter all the more gripping but I found myself welling up and crying as I read it. I encourage everyone to read her story as even just the first chapter has moved me and I know that it will move others.
I have just finished reading a book entitled "When The Devil Visits". The book is a memoir of about how you can survive extreme family dysfunction and rebuild your life. The book describes how emulating patterns of success that you see from others is key to rising up from the mire. It describes how forgiveness is that path to finding peace. Because I knew the subject matter in advance, I had to work up to reading the book. I had heard bits and pieces of the narrative over the years, and some of the situations mirrored my own experiences. I wasn't sure I was ready to read the whole story.
The Author, Mechelle McDermott, just happens to be my aunt. I have watched my Aunt from the first years of her marriage to my Uncle Reed. I have seen her growth from a very nervous new wife and mother to the a strong and confident woman, wife, and mother. There is nothing that Shelle takes on that isn't given her all and full devotion. She is an excellent wife, mother, and businesswoman. Her zeal for life is contagious. Shelle is a grand lady, an elect lady, if you will. This book is a must read and I recommend that everyone read it.
Incidentally, I was glad that in the book and in her acknowledgments that Shelle talks about my Uncle Reed. One little fact that she fails to mention is that my Uncle gave her the gift of his soul. He did so freely and with full love and devotion. I believe he has never regretted the decision and once he made it, he has never looked back. I extend my love and admiration to them for their example and a life that continues to be well lived.
So proud and excited for one of my best friend's new book! She is one of the strongest people I know, and an inspiration to all who truly know her! Her story is unbelievable, amazing, tragic, and inspiring--and has made her who she is today. Check out the link to read more about her story and to be one of the first to purchase the book before it hits the stores!
wow, i just read the first chapter of your book...i'm wiping away tears and have that aching knot in my throat that comes from feeling the chaos and sadness you have endured ... i haven't read a book in years but i will seek this one out.. you're an excellent and empathetic story teller.. you have a gift that gives hope those living with a heavy heart. god bless, i'm happy for you..
Read the first chapter and now I find myself torn about reading the rest. I lost my little brother to suicide in 2010 and not a day goes by without pain striking my heart with brute force. Your story is unbelievable; thank you for sharing your intimate thoughts! :(
I got hooked on your book, didn't stop reading once I got the code and just finished! You have a talent for writing! I found your book to be very insightful and inspiring. I think it’s courageous to write your story and put it out there for anyone to read. To come for that environment and be able to raise such a wonderful family shows your strength and ability to trust in Heavenly Father when trials are overwhelming. I think your book will bless your family, many people you don’t know, and your future posterity. It’s a very well written and thought provoking book. I find mental issues to be so complex and hard to understand that sometimes I have wondered why God doesn't just fix them. I learned a lot from your book and gained more testimony on how Heavenly Father understands, knows and loves each of his children and everything will work out in the eternities. Thanks for your book!
I could not put this book down. It hasn't been quite a year yet since I lost my daddy to suicide. Ive read so many books since just trying to understand.This is the only one so far that I can relate to. There were also so many life experiences that were similar to mine. Loved it!
I am so sorry to hear about your loss and I sincerely hope that you may find an understanding and closure with peace..God bless you and I pray that this experience will someway make you stronger..
Awesome book. I'm giving this book to everyone I know that has been touched by suicide. It is a story of hope, where it seem there would be none. I hope this book spreads far and wide.
I didn't tear up til the end...the amount of peace she felt and finally found..amazing. My mothers family and fathers family was like hers...she was the only one outta five who had a stable marriage and he only one outta 4 (39yrs) my sibling and I are the only 2 who graduated and went to college and have careers (all our cousins lived that hard road) but my parents like me he'll e vowed not to subject their kids to that.. I will never thank them enough for that.
Someone posted this website on a comment after a news article today. I clicked on it and read the entire book online without stopping. A lot of what I read was like my mother's family and what me and my siblings and cousins all went through with abusive parents. The mental illness and many, many suicides were also the fallout in my family as well. I had many of the thoughts that the author felt and still struggle with today. I am also on a forgiving journey and I wouldn't be here if not for God on my side. Thank you for writing this book. It's not a coincidence that I saw it posted. I needed to read it. God bless.
Wow. Just WoW! This book is a treasure for those of us who have lost someone to suicide. I can't wait to get copies for the whole family. Thank you for writing this.
As horribly sad as this story is, it is good to know there are others who know the pain I felt. While generally speaking, my childhood was more stable, I still experienced emotional and other abuse and grew up in a "broken family" without my mother. When we finally made a connection when I went to college, it was short lived. A series of heartbreaking events in her life and between us ended in her taking her life. The emotions you write so clearly about, are many of the same I experienced. Not only around her suicide (which for many years I was horrified for anyone to know and did not tell my children until they were older), but similar feelings toward my wonderful husband who I felt rescued me. And I also had seven children. I am fortunate that a few years ago, I was led to healing techniques that helped the heartache in my heart resolve. And have helped bring more balance to my life. May you have many more blessings and may the past be conquered permanently. I have felt very happy that I chose a new life form myself (that took a TON of work) and that my children will not suffer the things I did, and my family before me. Thank you for your honest story.
Much of a bookworm as I am, I read the book in one sitting. I found the link to access the book for free and the subject sounded very intriguing. First off, I would like to thank you for sharing so openly. The story is so sad I cried a lot throughout it yet it is amazing how determination, hope, messages from above and having had at least the loving figure of a Grandma helped you out to overcome this and create a happy and productive life in so many ways. Addiction, suicide and depression are all linked together and they do run in families generation after generation but as this story tells us, there is a way of creating a fulfilling life of your own. Love is the answer, love is what we need and love is what heals us, be it from the healthy figures in families, from the kind neighbour, or through the messages of the afterlife. This story is so inspiring I thank you very much for sharing us the link and I hope you and your brother are always filled with blessings!
I want to weep because this book really remind me of myself, my own family, my ex husband's family and our children. We went thru almost similiar pattern as yours. Your dad and my dad died in pick up with hose and duct tape only that my dad left one note that he loved us and that he was going to die. I was pretty much angry but was so submissive too. I was at age of 27, very pg with my third child. being married to drug addict and alcholic husband. He grew up in drug addict family, his parents divorced, left older kids on their own too and they edned up in foster homes, so forth I felt so better reading one page that Mechelle also left one kid behind while traveling and got her back i left one kid too so I could identify her feelings, I vowed to keep my kids away from those problems but ex kept bringing them to his family for he loved them so much. He lost his brother to sucide too and I am worried aobut my oldest son he is like Terry in this book and I am watching him closely ;( and praying a lot about him he is in Rehab right now and wants to quit drugs and promises he will he screams too if hes left alone too..I can identify this book very well and I want to weep I even missed church this morning, reading and bawling through the book I also was too submissive too and I was "closest to my dad" more than my two siblings so that was a blessing that I got from my Heavenly Father for Mom was so indifference to me and Dad loved me, but he mistreated my siblings and he apologized to them before he took his life just like this mother did to you. But Dad never said good bye to me so I was much angry but I saw Dad's spirit by my son when he was in jail and he looked so sorrowfully and worried I was so taken back and shook up after what I saw so I know that Dad is worried about my oldest son and probably is with my youngest son. Thank you for sharing for I need to hear your words.
In this empowering and heart wrenching story, you will see her struggles as she so openly shares her very personal memoir with us, bearing herself of her family's struggles. She lost so much when she was sixteen. She triumphantly rises up out of the ashes of a family with substance, alcohol, mental, and physical abuse. Of seeing her family members losing the battle to suicide. Through the grace and atonement of Christ she has stopped generational suffering for herself, and her beautiful family that she and her husband have so lovingly raised. She demonstrates that she is a peaceful warrior of the most high. We would all be better by emulating this great woman's Christlike example of what it truly means to be a daughter of God. I highly recommend it. Thank you Shelle McDermott for sharing your story.
Thank you. Somehow I came across your book in one of my darkest hours. I have new light on an old situation and will find peace. You are an inspiration to me.
Thank you for this book Shelly. My heart goes out for the pain, heartache and loss in your life.
You are quite right that when it comes to suicide people come in three flavors:
1. Those who would never even consider it and condemn all who do it.
2. Those who have experienced it with a close friend or family member or have consider it but are unwilling to go through with it.
3. Those who obsess about it, think about it and are willing to go through with it.
I believe your story is important because it allows people who are "Flavor 1." to gain more empathy for those who commit suicide. That people who commit suicide are for the most part just trying to stop an unbearable pain, that in their mind, can't be stopped.
The second great message in your story is Forgiveness. Thank you. It has allowed me to look at my own relationship with my mother and grandparents with a new light. The perceived slights I've suffered at the hands of my grandparents and parents are nothing compared to the abuse you endured.
Your book has illustrated that everyone is doing the best they can with the light of Christ they have.
I feel that your trials were not inflicted on you by an uncaring god, but by a wise and all knowing God who gave you the opportunity to grow and learn the true measure of compassion, empathy and forgiveness -- which of course, are the gifts that exalt us in the end.
Mechelle R. McDermott has a bachelor's degree in Business Education. She is married to Reed McDermott and they have seven children together.